The following is either hilarious or utterly depressing.
Right – depressing.
But this long-awaited review is not without its EPIC moments:
Everything Goodell has said here, from beginning to end, is a breathtaking lie. It’s amazing, really. To think that you can buy a billion-dollar football team with money that you probably don’t have, and then have the commissioner of the NFL prop you up because the league can’t ever admit in public that it’s dealing in some seriously shady shit. Isn’t that remarkable? If you know the right people, you don’t even have to be rich to be rich in this country. You can just go billions of dollars into debt and then have everyone keep you afloat because they don’t want to go down with you. What a complete and utter fucking disgrace. I hope Jimmy Haslam gets sent to Elkton, and I hope Roger Goodell is assigned to do cafeteria duty with him.
And for some more subtle flame-throwing:
This is all you need to know about what it’s like to be a Browns fan: We bring up “Red Right 88,” which refers to a play that went bad IN A DIVISIONAL PLAYOFF GAME 32 YEARS AGO.
Is there another fan base — in any sport on any planet in any universe — that’s capable of mourning a second-round playoff loss that occurred before Ronald Reagan was sworn in as president? But, then, this is the same city that refers to a first-round NBA playoff win over the Washington Bullets in 1976 as “the Miracle of Richfield” EVEN THOUGH THE CAVALIERS WERE THE HIGHER SEED.
For some reason, a prominent memory is 1995 – Browns vs. Packers at the old Stadium. This was a few weeks after “the move” was basically a reality. All of the Stadium sponsors had been taken down, fans were starting to rip seats apart and for the entire game, something that was probably urine dripped on us from the upper deck. After reading these testimonials – even knowing and appreciating the spirit of Deadspin’s series – it feels like being a lifelong Browns’ fan equates to getting pissed on.
More tomorrow with some more uplifting something or other.